Tag Archives: YouTube

Beauty Tips That I Didn’t Know But Now I Know

Matching your fingernail and toenail colors makes it look like you have your life organized and planned out and makes your typing much more productive at work, even when you just had to google a basic Microsoft Excel function because adulthood doesn’t come with a manual

Dark lipstick is great for intimidating men who walk up to you at a bar and say something like, “Why is your lipstick so dark?” as if this is what they perceive to be a clever pickup line when you know it’s dark because when that particular color hits your lips you look like a flawless goddess from an island of angels who somehow live half in heaven and half on earth so clearly it’s my earth-half time right now which is how I ended up in this bar in the first place; in other words, my lipstick is so dark because it looks GREAT, THANKS

On that same note, here is a list of people who can wear dark lipstick:

  • happy people
  • sad people
  • nice people
  • mean people
  • quiet people
  • loud people
  • people with a light complexion
  • people with a dark complexion
  • people who love socializing
  • people who hate socializing
  • people with hair of any color
  • people with no hair
  • people who own dark lipstick
  • people who don’t own dark lipstick yet

The Cosmetic Gods only allow your eyeliner wings to completely perfectly match approximately 10 times in your entire life- no more than that, no matter how many Sephora points you have. You’ll never exactly know when one of the 10 is about to happen, but when it does, take a step back and take it all in and take a selfie or two. You don’t even have to post said selfie, but you can keep it in a folder and look back at the one time everything came together for the good and made sense for just a few seconds, just a few beautiful seconds of perfection (Just don’t get too emotional unless your liner is waterproof)

17-year-old makeup blogger gurus on Youtube will somehow always know more  about contouring and strobing and baking and undertones than you. Don’t question it, don’t try to figure out why, but instead accept it and let it happen beyond your control like you do ATM fees, traffic jams, older people who post articles from The Onion on Facebook thinking they’re real, the sandwich artist who adds too much mustard to your sandwich when you clearly asked for light mustard, Justin Bieber’s choices in haircuts, Justin Bieber’s life choices in general, rain, allergies, etc.

Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins (that being said, there’s probably one sister you’d like to send off to boarding school until she gets her life together because honestly how is it so hard to grow the right way, you have one job, sister, and you’re not even showing up for work, I mean, it’s like you took a vacation without inviting the rest of my face and it’s all going south, much like this entire brow metaphor)

The face you make when you put on mascara is a gift to be shared with the world and you should never apologize for it

That being said, the lipstick-off-the-teeth-around-the-finger trick is best executed indoors, alone, away from judgy eyes

Blush is fun because blush can make it look like you worked out and got your blood pumping and became flushed with energy when actually the most physical thing you did today was heavy breathing from almost accidentally liking your ex’s 17-week-old photo on Instagram

Washing your makeup brushes at least once a week will help your skin breathe and make your products go on so much better and smoother, but also will therapeutically remove all the grossness of the last week and welcome the new fierceness that is just around the corner because maybe the money you could have spent on actual therapy you have actually spent on makeup, so it all balances out in way, I think

One time I thought it would be funny for Halloween to put on really heavy eye shadow and mascara and then cry some of it off or splash it with water and then when people asked, “What are you supposed to be?” I could just start singing that song that goes, “CAUSE YA HAD A BAD DAY, YOU’RE TAKIN ONE DOWN, YOU SING A SAD SONG JUST TO TURN IT AROUND” and I was convinced it would be so hilarious but I never really executed the idea, so there’s a freebie if you’d like to use it this year, also what ever happened to that guy who sang Bad Day? Is he still around? How much did he make from competitive singing reality shows that used to play that song every time someone lost? Did his day ever improve?

Finding a foundation shade that you love forever is hard, and when you finally find it, somewhere down the rocky road of loving your look, it will be discontinued or the price will increase or the formula will be altered and you’ll be back at square one, but, much like life, there are endless options available. You can start fresh and new whenever you want, no matter how much it seems like you’re stuck. Every single minute is a chance to break a bad habit or expand your knowledge or hold open a door for someone else or apply for a new opportunity or write a blog post for the first time in months or do just 10 more minutes on that treadmill. Changing your path isn’t as hard or heartbreaking as it seems, as long as you keep your chin up

(…and blended. For the love, please please please blend your foundation along your chin and jawline and fade it into your neck, please just do this one thing, I swear I’m not an expert but I love you and I want the best for you and your face and it looks so much better when there’s not a chin line, promise.)

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Underrated American Freedoms

I am a big fan of Christmas, but if you ask me what my favorite holiday is, I will have to go with 4th of July. It’s not just that I appreciate stars and stripes (because, take one look at my closet and you will see that I do), it’s that I feel like 4th Of July has no pressure to celebrate any certain way. Sure, there are some traditions that are almost universal, but there’s no set group of family or people that you have to spend the day with. The term “American” is so vast, that really, no matter your religious affiliation, family drama (or lack thereof), bank account status, or celebratory style, you can have a happy 4th of July. You can go out or you can watch fireworks from the couch. You can grill hot dogs, or you can get takeout. You can wear an Uncle Sam hat or you can throw on an old tee shirt.

In a way, 4th of July is a lazy holiday, and well, it’s fitting, because America is sometimes a little lazy. But hey, when it’s the middle of summer, what’s wrong with an easy, lazy celebration?

My personal 4th celebration this year was easy. Give me friends, fried pickles, beers, and fireworks, and I’m over the moon, but all this joy also got me thinking about a few underrated freedoms that I and those close to me get the chance to personally exercise in this great nation. For example, thanks to the USA, my friends and I can proudly have:

The freedom to wear leggings as pants

The freedom to get chicken nuggets as a side with your burger

The freedom to rock American themed nail art

The freedom to use whatever emoji you please

The freedom to fast forward through commercials with your DVR

The freedom to listen to the same Foxy Shazam song on repeat for a week straight

Historically, the freedom to throw tea into a harbor because I AM OVER PAYING TAXES

The freedom to spend way too much on fancy cheese at Whole Foods

The freedom to see Pixar movies in theaters and cry at their simple beauty, no matter how old you are

The freedom to daydream and read all day in bed

The freedom to write in whoever you want on the presidential ballot (even though it’s very rare that Beyonce and/or Miranda Lambert will win)

The freedom to dance in the aisle at the grocery store

The freedom to say “I love you” to anyone that strikes your fancy

The freedom to turn off your phone for a while and soak up life wholeheartedly

The freedom to take college classes or even major in ridiculously creative things like Writing, Pop Culture Studies, Television, Duct Tape Art, etc!

The freedom to get tattoos and be proud of the fact that you’ll be the ‘resident badass’ of the retirement home in 60 years

The freedom to change cities, friendships, relationships, and jobs, when you feel like one of them isn’t letting them be 100% of the person you need to be

The freedom to waste your afternoon on YouTube learning hair braiding tutorials

The freedom to wear bright neon socks with business-professional shoes (like a little secret that only you know!)

The freedom to NOT agree with everything someone tells you to believe and to express this in a healthy way, publicly, without fear

The freedom to have our needs like food allergies, dietary restrictions, skin sensitivities, etc, catered to by restaurants and stores! We can be picky!

The freedom to take other traditions from all cultures and put em all together in a red white and blue melting pot and call it AMERICAN.

So I hope this Fourth of July (or every single day of this year so far) that you listened to some Bruce Springsteen, rocked an American flag bandanna, lit things on fire, drank a beer, ate a burger, ooh’d and ahh’d at fireworks, or that you did none of the above, because ultimately, you had, and continue to have, that choice.

There are men, women, and children of all shapes, sizes, sexual orientations, races, creeds, and languages who have fought for and continue to fight for our right to  have that choice of celebration and furthermore, simply, fight for our existence as Americans, lazy and easy as it may be for some.

It’s a beautiful place we live in, and however you decide to celebrate this great land of ultimate self-expression is lovely and accepted.

So God Bless America, flaws and all. We may not have it together, but we can still be proud in the midst.

And no matter what, I can promise you I will personally fight forever for the right to have big hair, for all generations.

What underrated freedoms are you thankful for?

You Should Buy This Album: Julia Nunes

I steal things. I regret to tell you this, internet, because I love to be wrapped up in nothing but original creativity, but some of my little great ideas are recycled.

Some of my perceived coolness (if not most) comes from me loving and capitalizing on the greatness of Julia Nunes- Youtube-sensation, ukulele lady and wonderful-sounding musician.

Who is Julia Nunes? Only my musical soul-sister! Observe:

She’s one of the very big reasons that the ukulele became to so appealing to me. Well, that, and long-story-short, I had gotten myself into a little period of intense loneliness living alone my freshman year and buying the most adorable instrument saved me from going crazy in my room and allowed me to start writing my own songs, which in turn saved me thousands of dollars in therapy. Not kidding.

But, back to Julia. Her videos are popular, if you’re a youtube music junkie (which I admittedly am) and if you look hard enough, you might just find other videos on the internet of a certain lion-haired girl harmonizing over herself and recording in the same possible way. Coincidence? Hardly.

Julia Nunes writes honestly. Her lyrics are altogether fun and at the same time sincerely heartfelt, and never over-thought. They’re so relate-able that I swear the universe gave me her songs to help me not feel so alone, like, for example, these two:

Right? And those are originals. Don’t even get me started on her cover songs. Amazing.

I found her new album, Settle Down, at Waterloo in Austin a few months ago, screamed like I had won the lottery, purchased it earnestly, and it has scarce left my car since. I listen to it on repeat in my room and just want to nod along to every line. Seriously, it’s sometimes like I’m one of those crazy fangirls who hears her lyrics and agrees aloud in a New Jersey accent, like, “Oh, Julia, darrling I know. I totally understand. He was just not good for us, right? Sing it, sister.”

Her voice is a lower alto (just like mine!) so I don’t feel so alone singing in the lower part of songs. Also, she somehow manages to overcome the stereotype of cutesy-girl-ukulele music. If the solo-girl-with-one-instrument sound isn’t your thing, not to worry! Her arrangements have a full band on this album and it really shines. Her delivery has always been honest and I so look forward to seeing what she does in the future. I mean, she did break records when funding this album on Kickstarter.com, asking for $15,000 and ending up raising an incredible $77,888, and that dedication of her fans and supporters alone is super-impressive. Plus, she’s made her fame on the internet, and if you know me at all, you know that in some weird twisted way, I love the internet. I think the internet can be a wonderful place to be creative and encouraged and find a little community, whether through music, videos, blogging, social media, or even Lord Of The Rings messageboards. Not that I would know about that last one, though. (I actually would know.)

Could I obsess any more? It’s possible, but I’ll save that for some other time. Heck, one of my dearest friendships started because he and I shared a crazy love for Julia and her music! And music bringing people together is what the whole crazy thing is about anyway, right?

In all honesty, go buy Settle Down here or here or listen to it for free. Also, look for it and request it at your local music shop (Do people besides me do that? We should all start doing that!).  Or just start watching any of her great videos on Youtube and fall in love.

*And to any college freshman girls out there, if you are lonely and confused and emotional because college is just one big time for all those feelings, please forgo eating out for a week or consolidate your laundry money and buy a ukulele instead. My first and still-favorite uke was $50 with a coupon, you can get it here, and it’ll be so much better in the long run. I’ll even teach you if you want! When you learn two little chords in five minutes, because, yes, it is that easy, allow yourself to feel like a rockstar, and then keep on learning from there.

Play as often as you can, but know that once you start becoming known as “that girl with the ukulele”, you’ll probably be compared to Julia Nunes pretty frequently. Don’t worry, though, because in actuality, being compared to her puts you in great company, and it is a super-huge-wonderful compliment anyway.

Photo Credit: here