Tag Archives: list

Why It Would Have Never Worked Between Justin Timberlake And I

Now that we all know that The Timberlake is engaged, I just want to reassure everyone that was worried about he and I’s future relationship, that it would not have worked anyway. You see, Justin and I have differences that would tear apart our romance, and I just didn’t want him to have to go through that pain and anguish. Despite the fact that I may or may not own his albums on vinyl and had a poster of ‘NSYNC in my bedroom growing up, I am willing to admit that he and I could not weather the difficult seas of love, and here’s why;

Reasons why Justin Timberlake and I would have never worked out:

1. I would probably bring up embarassing moments for him constantly, like the ‘wardrobe malfunction’ that happened at the Superbowl between him and Janet Jackson and the jerry curl that he used to sport (even though I adore big hair).

He would hate my witty puns about his past mistakes and feel that they were real digs against him. You see, with his high-pitched voice, there’s bound to be a sensitive nerve or two in his body, and I would find a way to step on it.

2. I would distract him from making a new album. I mean, it’s been nearly 6 years (can you believe it?) since ‘FutureSex / LoveSounds’, my roadtrip staple and guaranteed-to-make-you-have-a-dance-party album, was released and if we were together, he would be so busy learning ukulele to impress me and looking for adorable puppies on the internet to send me pictures of and watching marathons of Doctor Who with me to ever have time to get back in the studio.

3. I was never a member of the Mickey Mouse Club. He would silently judge me for this.

4. For a long time I thought “Timbaland” was a place, not the name of his producer. He would silently judge me for this.

5. I am wearing sweatpants right now. He would silently judge me for this.

6. I would email YouKnowWhat’sCool.com to him and laugh when he opened it and then he would feel like his role in The Social Network wasn’t worth anything. But it was, Justin! We were all rooting for you! You delivered! You played that Napster guy with such confidence, such fearlessness! It’s just Aaron Sorkin’s fault that this line turned into an internet meme and makes us all laugh! We take you seriously as an actor!

7. I don’t have an all-denim ensemble to match the one he wore with Britney circa 2001 (yet).

(never forget)

Everyone knows that clothing trends come back, and I don’t want him to have to rock this look alone. Worst of all, I don’t want him to walk into my closet (because at this point in our relationship, I am comfortable asking him for style advice) and not see enough material that coordinates with him and his GQ reputation.

8. If we ever karaoke’d, I would forbid him from singing “Space Cowboy”…just so I could have the upper hand in the relationship. And, of course, in respect of Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes. (R.I.P.)

9. His parody to Beyonce’s All The Single Ladies video was more popular than any that I ever made. I wouldn’t be able to handle his bragging about it.

10. Justin is a multi-million-dollar recording artist and I am a unemployed blogger who makes lists about why he and I would not work. This seems sufficient enough.

So, sorry J-Timbs (can I call you J-Timbs?), but it’s just not going to work. We were doomed from the start, just like the photoshoot ‘NSYNC did with the glitter. Enjoy your life with Jessica Biel! I hope she is everything you dreamed of. She better not start writing a blog anytime soon, though. I hear competition is pretty fierce.

(Photo sources 1 & 2)

everyday crimes (of which i am slightly guilty)

everyday crimes

(of which i am slightly guilty)

taking an extra splenda at starbucks even if i don’t need it

the messy bun: all day, every day

playing my guitar out of tune because i’m lazy

over-tweeting….

yelling out “liquid gooooooooooooold” in quiet situations

having a redneck side (and just wanting to ride around in my truck, singalong to hank williams jr and get whiskey bent and hell bound)

having a hipster side (and just wanting to wear black-rimmed glasses, scarves and listen to rare vinyl all day)

buying too many items with hearts on them

getting sucked into every single wedding, hoarding and extreme-couponing show that TLC produces

promising that i’m going to be productive and then spending the next 5 hours listening to old bruce springsteen bootlegs

getting a serious case of blog-envy when i see other, cute, crafty and stylish blogs and that keeping me from updating my little blog for a while (but then reminding myself that i am a rockstar, too, and to keep on writing!)

waiting FOREVER between haircuts

making too many lists as blog posts

what are you guilty of?!

Questions That Shouldn’t Keep Me Awake At Night But Inevitably Do


Questions that shouldn’t keep me awake at night…but, inevitably, do:

Why does the bus insist on being extremely late when I have to stand next to the smelly guy at the stop?

Why does my cat hate me?

Why does Jeff Bridges look so much like Kris Kristofferson and why did I not notice it until last week?

What will in be doing in less than 2 months when I graduate college and am on my own?

Why is my hair not as perfect as Blake Lively’s?

What am I eating tomorrow for breakfast?

Is November 2nd too early to be listening to Christmas music?

Is there such thing as soulmates?

Why isn’t Lisa Frank still relevant and making adult-sized products?

If I wrote a screenplay, would anyone like it?

What will Beyoncé name her baby?

What if I dropped out of school and started writing music full time?

How much leopard print is “too much”?

Why does every female in romantic comedies somehow seem to perfectly find that balance between “cute and flirty” and “fiesty and independent”? Is that even possible? Can I find that?!

DID I SET MY COFFEEMAKER TO GO OFF AUTOMATICALLY? I SHOULD PROBABLY CHECK

Could Meryl Streep ever deliver a bad acting performance?

Are we sure that time travel isn’t possible yet?

Is growing up and getting older always gonna be this bittersweet?

Good Days Call For Happy Songs!

You ever have one of those days where it is just almost too perfect that you just feel the need to break out into song?

I have had a few of these days in my short 21 years and they always take me by surprise.

You see, today was one of those days, but I didn’t see it coming at all. I didn’t get enough sleep, I woke to a needy kitten meowing at 6 am for food (he’s cute in pictures, but oh-so-demanding) and I had a full day ahead of me school-wise. But today actually was that day. Today my caffeine level was exactly on point, I actually played a sweet little solo in guitar class, engaged in discussion in my biology class, shot a easy and relatable story for my TV News class and got the email that I’m officially approved to graduate this semester! Not to mention I made a killer sandwich for lunch, high-fived quite a few people, wore my favorite sunglasses, and came home to one of my oldest friends, Emily, in town for a little surprise visit in my living room! The combination of all this simply made me feel incredible. Seriously, I feel like I could do a backflip off the Eiffel Tower!

(please note how excited Arlo is to be in Paris with me)

(don’t worry, Mom, I’m not going to actually try)

The only thing that could make today better? A soundtrack, of course! And so, in case of great-day emergencies, I present you with my list of:

EMERGENCY OH-SO-GOOD CELEBRATION SONGS!

If I was going to break out into song today, it would have been one of these tasty tunes!

Need to celebrate at this very minute? Need an instant pick-me-up? Play these! It’s good to have a list of happy tunes ready at all times in case of the sudden need to party in honor of wonderful things!

6. How You Like Me Now? – The Heavy (I totally feel like I could dodge a bullet to this song. It’s that empowering!)
5. Crazy In Love – Beyonce with Jay-Z (If you know me at all, you know I love B. She could sing the phone book and I would pay money to see it and dance, yell, and cry during her performance. This happens to be my all-time favorite Beyonce song and I can’t NOT dance when I hear it- although Countdown is becoming a close second!)

4. You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates (It’s mentionable because it’s so unashamedly HAPPY! And because even if you weren’t a major H&O enthusiast prior to seeing (500) Days Of Summer, this scene should have made that change instantly!)

3. Twist & Shout – The Beatles (Yes. Just one big yes. When it’s a song this good, it will never go out of style. This song can make everyone from your 15 year-old cousin who is going through a teenage angst phase to your 88 year-old grandma who has had hip replacement surgery get down and shake it to the beat. Plus, Ferris did it, what better reason could there be?!)

2. Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen (This one really shouldn’t need any explanation besides the lyrics. I mean, he’s literally going to explode at the 1:48 mark! Freddie Mercury, you will always be a shooting star leaping through the skies like a tiger defying the laws of gravity in my heart. I will never stop you.)

1. September – Earth, Wind & Fire

(It’s so important that yes, I’m posting the video for the second time. A lot of songs could have been Number 1, in fact, I hate countdowns, but if you cornered me and asked point blank what my favorite song in the entire universe is, 9 times out of 10 it would be September. The joy I feel when I hear this song is unparalleled. I think this is what heaven’s gonna sound like, only ten times louder. I can’t stay still when it starts! Play on, EW&F, play on!)

Honorary Mentions: (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher & Higher by Jackie Wilson (a fantastic sing along and bonus points for Motown goodness!) and Any Way You Want It by Journey (classic!)

Now, get out there and be happy!

And of course, I’m always open to suggestions. What songs do you use when you need an instant declaration of happiness?!

i’m so happy i’m not even using capitalization

Likes Lately : July 2011

10 things that make this lion insanely happy

10. the ridiculous talent of this amazing girl (seriously, she’s like michael jackson, nina simone and regina spektor combined)-

9. getting my apartment all settled for the fall!

8. the forwarded emails my grandmother always sends with pictures of baby animals (ie-

)

7. when my blinker blinks perfectly in time to the beat of the song i am listening to on the road in my car!!!!!

6. spending multiple afternoons in the sunshine

5. boys with banjos, mandolins, ukuleles, hurdy-gurdys, accordions, and any/all slightly obscure instruments

4. living off of homemade pizza

!!

3. watching lots of comic con panel videos and geeking out about doctor who, joss whedon directing the avengers, the new spiderman with andrew garfield & emma stone, peter jackson (as always) and various nerdy goodness

2. seeing britney spears live on the night of my 21st birthday and fulfilling a childhood dream

1. and speaking of- my best friend driving to nashville to celebrate my 21st birthday with me!!! eeek! such a good weekend, i feel so blessed to have someone that pretty much shares my brain and yes, i am stealing this picture from him!

Thank You, Monday!

Mondays are usually not much worth celebrating. Mondays often begin with me snoozing my alarm at least six times, rolling out of bed just in time to make it to my 8 AM yoga class and feeling groggy for at least the first 8 hours of the day. Was today much different? Honestly, not really, BUT, in celebration and in countering the usual Monday blues, I’ve decided I might as well start the week off right by remembering all the good that is currently lined up in this lion’s life. Positive attitudes are worth something, right? RIGHT! So-

This week I am thankful for:

1.

Live at Eddie’s Attic by The Civil Wars, which is free on their website! Necessary!

2. Getting to change my Rolling Stone calendar to this month’s fabulous picture

3. Having less than a month of school left!!!!!

4. Fresh blueberries mixed in my morning oatmeal

5. Recording (!!!) as Olive & Chuck in the big fancy studio

6. My roommates

7. Knowing that I have the rest of the week to come up with even more things about which to be thankful!

What are you thankful for, internet?

Likes Lately; March 2011

Here’s an original post for blogging:

HEY INTERNET, I LIKE THESE THINGS, They make me happy, AND I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM TOO!!

But seriously, is a happy-list a cop-out? Am I denying you my words and rambles to put in little pictures and captions of precious items? Am I trying to brainwash you to like all the same things I like?!?!

Ehh, probs. But, who cares! It’s time for another installment of:

LATELY, THIS LION LIKES…

So what do I like right now? Try to hold back your excitement and let’s find out!!!

Yellow Bird Project!

If you haven’t heard of Yellow Bird Project, then prepare for a whole bunch of wonderful! Whether you think raising money for charities is effective or not, if you’re anything like me, you can at least agree that when you love a musical artist enough, you simply HAVE to display on your own self in the form of a teeshirt. And so, the indie rock community decided to combine these two. YBP sells shirts that both designed by the artists and bands AND the proceeds of the sale of said shirts goes to the charity of the artists’ choice. The designs and colors vary and the artists range from Bon Iver and TV on the Radio to Rilo Kiley, Beach House and The Shins, just to name a few. Also, the shirts are super snuggly soft, which, for me, is always a major selling point!

The Show Ponies!

I may have discovered the most perfect duet for a sunny, lovely day ever written!

Okay, so this one hits a little close to home, because actually, that adorable redhead, Andi, is a dear friend of mine from high school and she is, quite possibly, the sweetest girl on the planet, not to mention the fact that she is ridiculously talented! The Show Ponies are currently trying to make an album, and so are asking for donations through their ridiculously grand IndieGoGo website. Seriously, one little dollar goes a long way, and an album from them would be the perfect soundtrack to summer, yes? Yes indeed.

SNOWCONES!

Some may argue that a snocone is nothing more than flavored ice, but I will argue that it is SO much more magical. Each bite of a snocone on a hot summer day is like crossing the finish line of a marathon- it’s rewarding and oh-so-refreshing. And, living in Texas, the “hot summer day” weather is already here in March! Of course, this “like” is unfortunately not fulfilled because the legendary snocone trailer near our apartment is not open yet. Until then, I’ll watch slideshows of last year’s snocone memories while playing sad music. That’s normal…right?

Death Star PR!

You, internet, are very familar with the expression, “LOL”. Unfortunately, I think when this is most often exclaimed, not much laughter is actually occuring. However, I daresay that Death Star PR has caused a few actually-LOL-worthy moments in my life! If you’re a Star Wars fan at all, or if you’re secretly a Jedi, you simply must follow them on twitter, for gems like this:

I rest my case.

What do you like lately, internet? I’d love to hear!

 

(You can find the first installment of Likes Lately here!)