Tag Archives: list

More Realistic Facebook Relationship Statuses

I know we’re all used to putting “Single” or “In A Relationship” or “Married” (or maybe you’re that one person who puts “It’s Complicated” non-ironically) as a declaration and status symbol on Facebook for the whole internet to see, but life would be a whole lot easier and a lot more honest if we had a few more options on our ever-changing Relationship Statuses (stati?). So, naturally, I’ve compiled just the tip of the iceberg of a comprehensive list that I think would help clear things up.

(As always, you’re welcome for this great idea, Zuckerberg.)

More Realistic Facebook Relationship Statuses

Single And Ready To Mingle (But Not Really Sure What The Word Mingle Means)

Just Got Out Of A Relationship (And Am Currently Unable To Function Or Do Anything But Sniffle And Watch Lifetime Movies And Eat Cookies)

Just Got Out Of A Relationship (And Am Actually Doing Better Today, Thank You For Asking, In Fact, I Left The House Today And Saw The Sun For The First Time In A Week!)

Love Songs Messed Up My Idea Of Love

Reality TV Messed Up My Idea Of Love

Movies and Hollywood Romance Messed Up My Idea Of Love

What Is Love? (Baby, Don’t Hurt Me)

All I Ever Talk About Is My Ex And Yes, I Will Find A Way To Bring Them Up, Even In This Completely-Unrelated Conversation We Are Having

Perfectly Fine Being Single Until The Holidays Come Around Or I Have To Go To A Wedding

“Talking” To A Bunch Of Potential Girls/Boys

He or She Would Have To Be Really Amazing For Me To Get Out Of These Sweatpants And Go On A Real Date

Not Sure What A Real Date Is

In A Relationship But Still In High School, So 99% Of The Time This Relationship Will Not Count Or Matter in 4 Years/A Week

In A Committed Partnership With Netflix

In A Committed Partnership With Spotify

In A Committed Partnership With Pinterest

In A Committed Partnership With Cupcakes

In A Relationship, So I Always Give Dating Advice To My Friends

In A Relationship, So I Always Get Asked For Dating Advice From My Friends And The Truth Is I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO TELL YOU, THIS ONE JUST WORKS FOR US OKAY

Pretending My Life Is Sex & The City

Admittedly Desperate (No, Really)

In The Friend Zone

Not Aware That I’m In The Friend Zone

Single Until Ryan Gosling Comes To His Senses

In A Relationship That I Probably Should End, But I’m Lazy And Comfortable And Maybe I Just Don’t Want To, Okay, It’s Not Like I Need An Intervention Or Anything

I Want A Boyfriend/Girlfriend Who Will Fix All My Flaws

I’m Crazy! (In A Kooky/Fun/Zany Way! Yay!)

I’m Crazy! (No, Literally. Run Away!)

I’m A Nice Guy And That Frustrates Me Cause I Always Feel Like I Come In Last

Single But I Won’t Say That I’m Single Because Then You Will Set Me Up With All Your Weird Friends

In A Relationship With Someone and It Is Actually Great, No Really, So Please Stop Asking Me To Find Problems And Just Let Me Enjoy This!

SOMEBODY LOVE ME, PLEASE, EVEN IF YOU’RE KINDA AWKWARD, IT’S OKAY

Single And I Really Want To Be With Someone But I Have “Pride” And Will Lie and Pretend I’m Tough And Fine But Really I Am Sensitive, So So Sensitive

Not Really Looking For A Relationship (Just Someone To Share A Dog With)

Not Really Looking For A Relationship (But If You Want To Take Me To Brunch, I Will Always Say Yes)

I Care More About Celebrity Romances Than My Own

MY ONLY RELATIONSHIP IS WITH ~GiRrLZ NiGHT!!!!~

Only If The Guy Has A Beard

Only If The Girl is Zooey Deschanel

Becoming A Nun Or Priest (For Real)

Becoming A Nun Or Priest (As An Ironic Joking Statement Because I’m Not Dating, LOL)

Everything Goes Out The Window After A Few Drinks

The Ted Mosby Of My Friends

The Liz Lemon Of My Friends

The Alexander Supertramp Of My Friends

The Penny Hartz Of My Friends

Why Is Everyone Getting Engaged Except Me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!

Does Occasional Texting Count As A Relationship?

I WILL OVERANALYZE EVERY WORD OF EVERY TEXT MESSAGE YOU SEND ME, BEWARE

Currently In A Long Distance Relationship, Please Be Gentle With Me

Engaged And No Wedding Date In Sight (Stop Pressuring Me!!!!)

Engaged And Counting Down The Days

Engaged And Considering Vegas

Beer, Babes, and Bros! Beer, Babes, and Bros! (What’s The Real World Like?)

Don’t Judge Me By My Facebook, I Am Much More Interesting In Person

Don’t Judge Me By My Facebook, I Am Much Less Interesting In Person

The Girl Who Retweets Every Bit Of Relationship Advice She Finds

The Guy Who Parents Love But Girls Just Seem To Care Less About

I’m Single And I Still Don’t Have Any Of This Relationship Stuff Figured Out

I’m In A Wonderful Relationship And I Still Don’t Have Any Of This Relationship Stuff Figured Out

I’m Married and I Have Like One Thing In The World Of Relationships Figured Out

Cats. Just Cats.

Some Nights.

Some nights, I :

  • online shop and order shirts with eagles on them, heart-shaped sunglasses and Holly-Golightly-inspired sleeping masks
  • eat a giant slice of chocolate cake (#noshame)
  • delete 100 people from my phone contacts
  • become reminiscent about the past and work myself into this little crawlspace of emotions
  • bookmark and pin a bunch of craft d-i-y projects that i know i will be too lazy and impatient to actually ever make or do-it-myself, but that look so cute and practical
  • watch The Princess Diaries and High Fidelity on a neverending loop
  • have 3 intense crippling moments thinking i will forever be alone
  • have 24 intense crippling moments thinking i will never make it in the working world and music industry
  • cry while reading my bible
  • send picture messages of: baby sloths, corgi puppies and kittens
  • laugh so hard at the dinner table with my parents about our fear of the slow checkout lady at hobby lobby that i start crying
  • actually remember to moisturize twice a day like every magazine has told me for years and feel like a total rockstar because of it
  • paint my nails with OPI’s “The One That Got Away” from the Katy Perry Nail Polish Collection and feel like a total rockstar because of it
  • play guitar and ukulele for the first time in two months and sing until i’m hoarse
  • spend 20 minutes trying to get my brother’s pug to love me, and fail
  • make obsessive and ocd-esque playlists on Spotify for hours on end
  • think about Coachella and assume that since I’m not there, it’s probably not very good, I mean like, Gotye and Beirut and Bon Iver and The Black Keys all in one place? I’m not jealous or needy for live music. Nope. Totally fine. (ish)
  • go out and am the quintessential twentysomething social butterfly with loud music and trendy beverages and dancing, only to be wishing for my bed and its 7 pillows, all comfortable
  • sit on my bed with its 7 pillows, all comfortable, and yet wish i was out on the town like a quintessential twentysomething social butterfly with loud music and trendy beverage and dancing
  • look forward to getting home just so i can put on my moccasins
  • watch the latest episode of Mad Men and discuss it in depth with my best friend via text message and consequently, become so thankful for stupid things like text messages and technology and writers of wonderful television episodes
  • miss my friends and college so much that it hurts inside my very soul. like, inside and out, my whole body just seems to say “i miss you, i miss you, i miss you all.”
  • try on my entire shoe collection and, really, applaud myself on my great taste
  • tell myself i should read more books and end up reading the internet for the next 3 hours
  • read The Frenemy and feel less alone
  • make long list blog posts that might borrow their format from The Frenemy a little bit
  • eventually sleep, but, at least tonight, not before I listen to Some Nights again. (see what I did there?!?!?)
  • (goodnight.)

Things I Will Never Be Able To Accurately Express With Words

Surprise- I made you a list post, internet! But really, you should expect them by now.

I aim to always be able to use words to express how I’m feeling, tell a story, explain a phenomenon and sing along, but sometimes I can’t string them together well enough. Being a blogger, I swirl ideas around constantly and keep a running commentary both written and spoken to add on, but there are times where this just doesn’t work. You see, there are a few subjects and occurrences that I am left high and dry on and struggle to even say. So, that’s what I’m after today. Blame it on writer’s block, but here are the –

Things I will never be able to accurately express with words:

How much I miss Clarence Clemons’ saxophone on the newly-leaked Bruce Springsteen album

How hard it is to stay focused on ANYTHING when you are unemployed, 21, moving out, applying to jobs, getting interviews, getting rejection emails, and trying to figure out where to live in your postgrad life all at the same time

How cute baby kangaroos are

How much I turn into a needy buy-me-this child whenever I see a piece of clothing with sequins and/or glitter on it

How I could live inside this video/how the lyrics can be felt in my very SOUL/how soothing the voice of Ray LaMontagne truly is:

How much running out of coffee give me anxiety

How many days I could survive on only grilled cheese and pancakes

How hard it is to act professional and grown-up when your phone accidentally goes off and the ringtone is Beyonce’s “Countdown”

How much better I need to get at loving people in general

How hard I am hyping The Hobbit coming out at the end of this year

The amount of sadness that is experienced when you lose your favorite leather jacket to a night on 6th Street in Austin

How much joy Adele sweeping the Grammys brought to my heart and made me wanna buy 5 more copies of “21” (again)

How much better I sleep after I’ve spent all day talking and laughing and playing with my favorite people

How great an idea “never-ending breadsticks” was and is and continues to be

How frustrating writer’s block is when you tell people constantly, “Yes, I would love to be a writer when I grow up!”

How hard it is to NOT go to the animal shelter and set loose all the kitties and puppies and steal them away in my Rav4

How simple the phrase “Jesus loves you” is and yet how its repercussions are so huge and forgotten by little old me

How greatly I wish I could be crafty and DIY-ish but fail miserably each time

The overwhelming love I feel from the internet and beyond on a daily basis. Thanks, yall.

My Happy Place

My happy place is a mid-morning omelette, bacon, toast and a friend.

My happy place is a big hammock in the shade.

My happy place is sitting in front of a fireplace with a cup of hazelnut coffee (two splendas & just a kiss of half-and-half, please).

My happy place is driving with the windows down on a back road riiiiight when the sun comes up in the morning and a perfect playlist to accompany the ride.

My happy place is that last page of a book when you finish the journey and you just kinda sigh and go, “what now?”

My happy place is an SNL skit that actually manages to make me laugh.

My happy place is volunteering for a community that shares great stories and encourages women in truth every day.

My happy place is a closet full of boots, jeans that fit really well, and leopard print.

My happy place is a never-ending marathon of The Lord Of The Rings (Extended Editions) followed by the Back To The Future Trilogy followed by Almost Famous followed by The Sound Of Music, then repeated.

My happy place is a big couch with a warm laptop on my lap, reading blogs and watching stupid videos.

My happy place is a group sing-along.

My happy place is anywhere I can put my toes in a body of water.

My happy place is a brand new Bruce Springsteen single and upcoming album + tour!!!

My happy place is a new haircut and the smell of fresh laundry.

My happy place is a never-ending text message conversation with my family members.

My happy place is waking up before my alarm and going back to sleep.

My happy place is a big stack of vintage vinyl records.

My happy place is petting a puppy.

My happy place is tap dancing in my best friend’s new apartment.

My happy place is finding tiny little ways to change the world while looking for a big-girl job.

What’s your happy place?

Why It Would Have Never Worked Between Justin Timberlake And I

Now that we all know that The Timberlake is engaged, I just want to reassure everyone that was worried about he and I’s future relationship, that it would not have worked anyway. You see, Justin and I have differences that would tear apart our romance, and I just didn’t want him to have to go through that pain and anguish. Despite the fact that I may or may not own his albums on vinyl and had a poster of ‘NSYNC in my bedroom growing up, I am willing to admit that he and I could not weather the difficult seas of love, and here’s why;

Reasons why Justin Timberlake and I would have never worked out:

1. I would probably bring up embarassing moments for him constantly, like the ‘wardrobe malfunction’ that happened at the Superbowl between him and Janet Jackson and the jerry curl that he used to sport (even though I adore big hair).

He would hate my witty puns about his past mistakes and feel that they were real digs against him. You see, with his high-pitched voice, there’s bound to be a sensitive nerve or two in his body, and I would find a way to step on it.

2. I would distract him from making a new album. I mean, it’s been nearly 6 years (can you believe it?) since ‘FutureSex / LoveSounds’, my roadtrip staple and guaranteed-to-make-you-have-a-dance-party album, was released and if we were together, he would be so busy learning ukulele to impress me and looking for adorable puppies on the internet to send me pictures of and watching marathons of Doctor Who with me to ever have time to get back in the studio.

3. I was never a member of the Mickey Mouse Club. He would silently judge me for this.

4. For a long time I thought “Timbaland” was a place, not the name of his producer. He would silently judge me for this.

5. I am wearing sweatpants right now. He would silently judge me for this.

6. I would email YouKnowWhat’sCool.com to him and laugh when he opened it and then he would feel like his role in The Social Network wasn’t worth anything. But it was, Justin! We were all rooting for you! You delivered! You played that Napster guy with such confidence, such fearlessness! It’s just Aaron Sorkin’s fault that this line turned into an internet meme and makes us all laugh! We take you seriously as an actor!

7. I don’t have an all-denim ensemble to match the one he wore with Britney circa 2001 (yet).

(never forget)

Everyone knows that clothing trends come back, and I don’t want him to have to rock this look alone. Worst of all, I don’t want him to walk into my closet (because at this point in our relationship, I am comfortable asking him for style advice) and not see enough material that coordinates with him and his GQ reputation.

8. If we ever karaoke’d, I would forbid him from singing “Space Cowboy”…just so I could have the upper hand in the relationship. And, of course, in respect of Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes. (R.I.P.)

9. His parody to Beyonce’s All The Single Ladies video was more popular than any that I ever made. I wouldn’t be able to handle his bragging about it.

10. Justin is a multi-million-dollar recording artist and I am a unemployed blogger who makes lists about why he and I would not work. This seems sufficient enough.

So, sorry J-Timbs (can I call you J-Timbs?), but it’s just not going to work. We were doomed from the start, just like the photoshoot ‘NSYNC did with the glitter. Enjoy your life with Jessica Biel! I hope she is everything you dreamed of. She better not start writing a blog anytime soon, though. I hear competition is pretty fierce.

(Photo sources 1 & 2)

everyday crimes (of which i am slightly guilty)

everyday crimes

(of which i am slightly guilty)

taking an extra splenda at starbucks even if i don’t need it

the messy bun: all day, every day

playing my guitar out of tune because i’m lazy

over-tweeting….

yelling out “liquid gooooooooooooold” in quiet situations

having a redneck side (and just wanting to ride around in my truck, singalong to hank williams jr and get whiskey bent and hell bound)

having a hipster side (and just wanting to wear black-rimmed glasses, scarves and listen to rare vinyl all day)

buying too many items with hearts on them

getting sucked into every single wedding, hoarding and extreme-couponing show that TLC produces

promising that i’m going to be productive and then spending the next 5 hours listening to old bruce springsteen bootlegs

getting a serious case of blog-envy when i see other, cute, crafty and stylish blogs and that keeping me from updating my little blog for a while (but then reminding myself that i am a rockstar, too, and to keep on writing!)

waiting FOREVER between haircuts

making too many lists as blog posts

what are you guilty of?!

Questions That Shouldn’t Keep Me Awake At Night But Inevitably Do


Questions that shouldn’t keep me awake at night…but, inevitably, do:

Why does the bus insist on being extremely late when I have to stand next to the smelly guy at the stop?

Why does my cat hate me?

Why does Jeff Bridges look so much like Kris Kristofferson and why did I not notice it until last week?

What will in be doing in less than 2 months when I graduate college and am on my own?

Why is my hair not as perfect as Blake Lively’s?

What am I eating tomorrow for breakfast?

Is November 2nd too early to be listening to Christmas music?

Is there such thing as soulmates?

Why isn’t Lisa Frank still relevant and making adult-sized products?

If I wrote a screenplay, would anyone like it?

What will Beyoncé name her baby?

What if I dropped out of school and started writing music full time?

How much leopard print is “too much”?

Why does every female in romantic comedies somehow seem to perfectly find that balance between “cute and flirty” and “fiesty and independent”? Is that even possible? Can I find that?!

DID I SET MY COFFEEMAKER TO GO OFF AUTOMATICALLY? I SHOULD PROBABLY CHECK

Could Meryl Streep ever deliver a bad acting performance?

Are we sure that time travel isn’t possible yet?

Is growing up and getting older always gonna be this bittersweet?

Good Days Call For Happy Songs!

You ever have one of those days where it is just almost too perfect that you just feel the need to break out into song?

I have had a few of these days in my short 21 years and they always take me by surprise.

You see, today was one of those days, but I didn’t see it coming at all. I didn’t get enough sleep, I woke to a needy kitten meowing at 6 am for food (he’s cute in pictures, but oh-so-demanding) and I had a full day ahead of me school-wise. But today actually was that day. Today my caffeine level was exactly on point, I actually played a sweet little solo in guitar class, engaged in discussion in my biology class, shot a easy and relatable story for my TV News class and got the email that I’m officially approved to graduate this semester! Not to mention I made a killer sandwich for lunch, high-fived quite a few people, wore my favorite sunglasses, and came home to one of my oldest friends, Emily, in town for a little surprise visit in my living room! The combination of all this simply made me feel incredible. Seriously, I feel like I could do a backflip off the Eiffel Tower!

(please note how excited Arlo is to be in Paris with me)

(don’t worry, Mom, I’m not going to actually try)

The only thing that could make today better? A soundtrack, of course! And so, in case of great-day emergencies, I present you with my list of:

EMERGENCY OH-SO-GOOD CELEBRATION SONGS!

If I was going to break out into song today, it would have been one of these tasty tunes!

Need to celebrate at this very minute? Need an instant pick-me-up? Play these! It’s good to have a list of happy tunes ready at all times in case of the sudden need to party in honor of wonderful things!

6. How You Like Me Now? – The Heavy (I totally feel like I could dodge a bullet to this song. It’s that empowering!)
5. Crazy In Love – Beyonce with Jay-Z (If you know me at all, you know I love B. She could sing the phone book and I would pay money to see it and dance, yell, and cry during her performance. This happens to be my all-time favorite Beyonce song and I can’t NOT dance when I hear it- although Countdown is becoming a close second!)

4. You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates (It’s mentionable because it’s so unashamedly HAPPY! And because even if you weren’t a major H&O enthusiast prior to seeing (500) Days Of Summer, this scene should have made that change instantly!)

3. Twist & Shout – The Beatles (Yes. Just one big yes. When it’s a song this good, it will never go out of style. This song can make everyone from your 15 year-old cousin who is going through a teenage angst phase to your 88 year-old grandma who has had hip replacement surgery get down and shake it to the beat. Plus, Ferris did it, what better reason could there be?!)

2. Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen (This one really shouldn’t need any explanation besides the lyrics. I mean, he’s literally going to explode at the 1:48 mark! Freddie Mercury, you will always be a shooting star leaping through the skies like a tiger defying the laws of gravity in my heart. I will never stop you.)

1. September – Earth, Wind & Fire

(It’s so important that yes, I’m posting the video for the second time. A lot of songs could have been Number 1, in fact, I hate countdowns, but if you cornered me and asked point blank what my favorite song in the entire universe is, 9 times out of 10 it would be September. The joy I feel when I hear this song is unparalleled. I think this is what heaven’s gonna sound like, only ten times louder. I can’t stay still when it starts! Play on, EW&F, play on!)

Honorary Mentions: (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher & Higher by Jackie Wilson (a fantastic sing along and bonus points for Motown goodness!) and Any Way You Want It by Journey (classic!)

Now, get out there and be happy!

And of course, I’m always open to suggestions. What songs do you use when you need an instant declaration of happiness?!

i’m so happy i’m not even using capitalization

Likes Lately : July 2011

10 things that make this lion insanely happy

10. the ridiculous talent of this amazing girl (seriously, she’s like michael jackson, nina simone and regina spektor combined)-

9. getting my apartment all settled for the fall!

8. the forwarded emails my grandmother always sends with pictures of baby animals (ie-

)

7. when my blinker blinks perfectly in time to the beat of the song i am listening to on the road in my car!!!!!

6. spending multiple afternoons in the sunshine

5. boys with banjos, mandolins, ukuleles, hurdy-gurdys, accordions, and any/all slightly obscure instruments

4. living off of homemade pizza

!!

3. watching lots of comic con panel videos and geeking out about doctor who, joss whedon directing the avengers, the new spiderman with andrew garfield & emma stone, peter jackson (as always) and various nerdy goodness

2. seeing britney spears live on the night of my 21st birthday and fulfilling a childhood dream

1. and speaking of- my best friend driving to nashville to celebrate my 21st birthday with me!!! eeek! such a good weekend, i feel so blessed to have someone that pretty much shares my brain and yes, i am stealing this picture from him!

Thank You, Monday!

Mondays are usually not much worth celebrating. Mondays often begin with me snoozing my alarm at least six times, rolling out of bed just in time to make it to my 8 AM yoga class and feeling groggy for at least the first 8 hours of the day. Was today much different? Honestly, not really, BUT, in celebration and in countering the usual Monday blues, I’ve decided I might as well start the week off right by remembering all the good that is currently lined up in this lion’s life. Positive attitudes are worth something, right? RIGHT! So-

This week I am thankful for:

1.

Live at Eddie’s Attic by The Civil Wars, which is free on their website! Necessary!

2. Getting to change my Rolling Stone calendar to this month’s fabulous picture

3. Having less than a month of school left!!!!!

4. Fresh blueberries mixed in my morning oatmeal

5. Recording (!!!) as Olive & Chuck in the big fancy studio

6. My roommates

7. Knowing that I have the rest of the week to come up with even more things about which to be thankful!

What are you thankful for, internet?