It’s going to be a great day when you start your morning at the gas station, and a decent gentleman walks over, attempting to yell over your 444th play of Dan Croll’s “From Nowhere”, to alert you that you have a ‘small stick’ underneath your car, which, of course, added to the fact that you just replaced an alternator in the same car that sucked your 22 year old bank account somewhat dry and gave you 8 panic attacks, makes you somewhat nervous. However, it’s a “small stick”, right? I mean, how bad could that be? After all, April has already dealt you a pretty sucky hand of cards and there can’t possibly be any more dramatic events to take place, especially before 9 AM on a Monday, because that would just be cruel, right? I mean, seriously, whoever decided this month would bring such bizarre events and circumstances had to have been just putting together a mock script for the next season of GIRLS or at least really wanting to test the phrase, “laugh so you don’t cry”. And you don’t even remember running over a stick, except maybe that tree branch that fell during the storm the other night that you swerved out of the way to avoid, just like a defensive responsible woman of the open road. Besides, you like nature (sometimes) and it shouldn’t be intimidating and I’m sure you can toss that small stick and be on your way before your coffee in your cupholder gets cold, right?
Or- maybe April just wanted to teach you one more thing, and it’s to check your surroundings or always expect the unexpected or to laugh at everyday miracles or, I don’t know, maybe to look out for ENORMOUS STICKS UNDER YOUR RAV4.
But, I mean, hey, at least Ace has a new toy.(*Also, you really earn points as a “go-getter” and “independent lady” with the guy selling newspapers at the gas station when you reach down at 8:45 AM in business casual dress to pull out half of a small tree from the undercarriage.)