I went to a wedding for one of my friends this weekend and looked all snazzy with these beautiful people:
Now, I know that as a single girl, weddings are supposed to make me bitter and hyper-aware of my aloneness, but I’ll be darned if I wasn’t sitting there the whole time with a big grin on my face and possibly tearing up during the vows. Is this progress? A little.
You see, I have a love-hate relationship with weddings. I think they are wonderful and a beautiful picture and celebration of Christ’s love and two people committing themselves to each other, and I also adore a good dance floor, but I try and steer clear of planning my own. I will unfollow your “Wedding <3 <3” board on Pinterest faster than you can say “I do” because I’m afraid of my wild imagination getting ahead of me and looking at perfect wedding ceremony and reception pictures all day then becoming a girl who places so much worth on getting married. It’s not that I don’t want to or that I don’t believe in it, quite the opposite, it’s just that I know it’s so easy for those idealistic dreams to cripple you. I know so many lovely and wonderful single girls who envision their ceremonies for hours and this becomes what they strive after, not their life as an unattached female! They pursue plans that aren’t even in the works yet and then come to the conclusion that getting married will solve every single problem. I mean, I laugh at things like this because they’re true:
But seriously, it’s okay to want to be married. It’s okay to like a certain color scheme or a sweetheart neckline or to occasionally tune into Say Yes To The Dress and chastise the girl for bringing too many bridesmaids with her to the salon (I mean, come on, everyone knows that’s a rookie mistake) but if you’re not engaged yet, don’t get so bogged down in the wedding fever that you can’t see anything else. There is life in being unattached, there is more to plan than what your invitations will look like! It’s so dangerous to place your heart in a situation that it’s not prepared for yet. Pursue the things that matter to you now.
In one of my favorite posts on The Good Women Project, Laura Hill talks about finding purpose in singleness and it shakes me up in the best way. It’s such a challenge to be a little ray of sunshine when people keep asking you about being in a relationship or telling you that your time is ticking before you need to get married (I mean, seriously? Is me not getting married like a bomb going off?) but it’s a challenge that you should accept wholeheartedly. Plus, after a while, pining for a perfect wedding or a picturesque romantic-comedy marriage is just going to leave you feeling empty anyway, and unless Ryan Gosling or George Clooney all of the sudden come to their senses and show up on your doorstep holding a welsh corgi and a bouquet of orchids, it’s pointless anyway. Work on improving your own life, not your future husband’s. Be you, be content, be happy. Don’t be spending hours creating the life you don’t have yet and may never have; love the one you’ve got.
And as for the wedding I went to? Perfectly executed. I mean, if you’re gonna serve breakfast food, I’m going to cheer. If you’re going to give me an excuse to wear 4-inch leopard print platforms, I’m going to celebrate. If you’re going to serve as a great example of a loving Jesus-centered relationship and when you smile at each other the whole crowd melts, I’m going to get excited.
And if by some miracle, you’re going to play Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Dancing In The Dark’ as your last song, you better believe I’m going to start screaming and make everyone else do the Boss-snapping, Clarence clapping, saxophone solo and Courtney Cox arm movements with me like a fool on the dance floor.
I mean, come ON, how could I not?! It’s the little things.