I judge people based on which Golden Girl they most closely resemble.
Ever since I decided owning TGG (oh yes, it has its own abbreviation in my house) on DVD was a good idea, it’s been so apparent. You see, I have this little routine where I watch at least one episode before I go to sleep every night. It’s lighthearted and fun and features four strong women with bold fashion choices, so naturally it is a great pseudo-lullaby or bedtime story.
But the problem is, now I’m fully invested and think about the Golden Girls far too often. I mean, with some tv shows, the writers present a lot of material to chew on. With a program that’s a sci-fi gem like Battlestar Galactica, you can delve into the storylines and arcs and look for symbolism and references. With a comedy like Community, you can wonder about the will-they-or-won’t-they chemistry between Jeff and Annie. With The Golden Girls, all that you can speculate on is what flavor of cheesecake they are going to eat in the next episode.
So, while it’s not exactly edge-of-your-seat-tv, I find myself thinking about it long after I’ve stopped watching, and then applying Golden traits to those around me, for better or worse.
I’ll hear someone telling a long story with no end in sight and I’ll think, “that’s so Rose Nylund of them!”
I wait for old women to mention how their life was better back in Sicily like Sofia.
Those girls I see that are always updating their statuses on Facebook with love song lyrics and tweeting about boy problems? Total Blanche move.
If I make a good sarcastic comment, I’ll feel myself channeling Dorothy. I can’t help it!
And because I’m a Dorothy (based on my low voice, short temper fuse and adoration for puns), there might be times where I’m annoyed with Roses around me, roll my eyes at those Blanches and cottle the Sophias that I know, but when it all comes down to it, at the end of the day, we all live in the same house and we all eat cheesecake together to solve our problems. See?! It works! I think that sentence may provide the answer to world peace. Let’s all just be active retired females and get along! You’re welcome, world. Thank you for being a friend.